relay heaven

goddamnit-

2006-05-14T00:30:00.000-04:00

is it any wonder i can't think straight?

that i can't get her out of my head?

this harpy's song, forever dashing me against her rocks!

oh my lord, it's so beautiful-

i'm crying, i'm cumming blood- and i don't care.

vegas odds on my going back- 5 to 1. pathetic!

getting it 'together'

2006-05-07T23:43:00.000-04:00

the beginning of may was a very special anniversary for this writer- i can now boast a full 16 months of headphones-on, good-day-how-can-i-help-you, hair-trigger relay. that's for real! a good business! i love it.

who could ask for anything more?

it's dynamite, day after goddamn day.

i endure, in spite of the pleasure, simply by thinking- very hard! (every day), about what to do in the future that DOES NOT INCLUDE COMMUTING UP TO CREMAZIE WEST.

to relay.

for eight hours.

this photo reflects, in a sun set reflecting on the building-y way, all we have.

if you can imagine the noise of a a cross city freeway to go with the photo, you'll find yourself a little more 'there'.

now imagine a sterile, fluorescent-lit environment full of 20-somethings keeping their heads down, and suddenly-

there it is. there we are! together in nordia's womb-like clutches.

i say 'clutches', but i mean 'warm, nurturing paws'.

but there's smoke on the horizon. is it possible for upper-canada to meet its relay bastille ?

time, and several weeks of organizing, will tell. stay informed.

stay relay heaven!

church tourism, finally

2006-04-05T19:22:00.000-04:00

case study #1: jarry, 2 blocks east of st. laurent

this inspirational structure is as impressive inside as it promises, every fucking day, from the 4th floor nordia office. the traditional 'steps of the cross' and ceiling murals wow-ed me from the pews, and the mary and jesus statues were plaintive without making you feel like somebody was putting on too much pressure.

nice confessionals, too. of all the times i've admitted my (indirect) culpability in that orphanage fire, this was certainly the most satisfying.

my only setback? i was stupid enough to arrive at 11:15, during the lull between la fin de la service en francais and the beginning of the portuguese one. it was just a handful of pre-teens milling about the altar, and families walking around casually.

too casually, i think, for a sunday morning and also they were setting up electrical guitars, which is bullshit. i'm thankful i didn't have to stick around and listen to whatever unholy tripe they had planned, because as everyone knows catholicism doesn't rock like that, and i might have done something i'd have regetted, like guilt-tithed.

but i'm not ashamed to admit this: i fled that church to make my shift on time and i walked away with a handsome bulletin.

because i love my job, a lot. but even more than the deaf helping and fraud perpetuating- i love when things are announced in paphlets.

a tty prayer for you:

"god bless-
care,
savor,
with your family all"

mash note to hogsville

2006-02-27T00:29:00.000-05:00

My feeling was one of surprise during my visit to 'The Big Smoke' last weekend, aka: Boner City.
Folks' tongues wag, and I'd been led to believe it'd be something like a bound collection of Michael Crichton novels, if you can catch that drift, which is to say- painfully shitty in spite of it's shocking popularity. Maybe it was the change of pace for me after 10 months straight on this godforsaken island, but I found Toronto to be fucking awesome!

Check out these condos (probably the most striking aspect of the city's character!) :

I'm afraid the yankee-hotel-foxtrotness of the photo distracts from the size and glimmer of these super modern towers, but take it from me: they are very attractive!

Toronto- I owe you one!

I was visiting mr. Matt Mclachlan one week prior to his departure for Seoul, and in spite of his being exposed to these enormous, excremental gems day in and out, I know that he was as moved as I. Condos bring people together! It's one reason I love them.

Yes, and besides: wine, whisky, Hernandez bros. comics and a copy of R. Davies' High Spirits.

Truly a trip worth making and a visit worth having and a special, lucky time.

Compliments and sentimental best wishes to you Matt!

of mice and cum

2006-01-30T01:57:00.000-05:00

"riley was a nice pig, for a boar, sir.
i rode him sometimes, and he didn't mind."
- jody tiflin

this was the real high-life quote from today's hot relay read, a 1963 study edition of johnny steinbeck's 'the red pony'. to be clear, riley wasn't even a 2nd-tier character in this classic story, but simply mentioned in passing. that didn't make it any easier to swallow jody's perverse justification of his forbidden ranch love, and in between heaves, i was surprised to find myself swallowing down this dreck. steinbeck was sick, and it's incredible to look back today and imagine this filth being presented in schools around the city, courtesy of the Protestant School Board of Greater Montreal circa 1966.

from the 'check out' stamp at the front of the book:

date pupil's name room number condition
66/67 Kathy Gamble 111 new
may/67 Marlene Beyette 209 new
feb. Cathi Steiner 216 almost new
march Nancy Roleets 216 alright
4/68 Alan Guy Fontaine ---- O.K.
feb/71 Suzy Short 211 groovy!!!
79/80 Desirie Duncan 343 we don't say groovy anymore
81/82 Jennifer Steinberg ---- ----------

kids! i'm not sure what i found more shocking: the book's gradual physical decline, desirie's fresh sass, or the fact that this copy of 'the red pony' was (maybe) read just eight times in fifteen years. had the author known how widely unpopular he'd one day become with senior high students, he might not have been so quick to succumb to syphillis.

yes, a sad truth you won't find in wikkipedia- john steinbeck died a riviled whore, ostracized from the american community of letters and half-insane in the gutter from that awful wasting disease. and they took away his noble prize for literature.

so take it easy! because it's true: nothing we do in this life matters.

it's a relay life, if you don't weaken

2006-01-27T01:43:00.000-05:00

two days off-

so why does it feel like hell? like a kind of a tease?

if you know me well, you'll know how much the relay lifestyle means to me. what it does to to my heart, to my dreams, and to my dick.

it's so hard, this- being off for awhile.

i pray, simply, that somehow in some way, the deaf will find a way to communicate without me there; nurturing, encouraging! a voice like the proverbial SPUN SILK.

yes, off, and so many many hours to cringe and loathe and fear the future.

i know what's coming up on saturday, and for the next seven months. but what thereafter?

some days i think- "aimlessness is my gift! ride it, ride it as long as possible. a simple flight to chaing-kai shek international, just 14 hours across the pacific, and i could be right back to a simpler, more hair-falling-out time"

other days, it's- "i guess canada isn't so bad! why not vancouver!!!"

obviously, it's right next to the water. maybe i could...act? continue to reach desperately for some kind of traction? would it be such a relief to escape this, vraiment!, belle province?

the problem is that it's not so belle when i'm only ever in montreal, and typically somewhere between duluth and cremazie at that. and with january's drab, icy bullshit- how to cope?

"let's not kid ourselves- it gets really, really bad" that's david berman and his Silver Jews.

'Punks in the Beerlight', from the hit-making album 'Tanglewood Numbers'.

and i'm not even flirting with suicide, not the way dave was. so what's my beef? and i refuse to be such a baby about our new president being steve harper, i won't blame it on that.

this week.